his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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