College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize