How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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