i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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