dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize