I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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