No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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