pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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