Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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