It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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