It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize