As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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