there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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