i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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