it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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