Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize