Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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