my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Of course I have a pirate flag
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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