Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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