Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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