that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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