are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
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Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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