Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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