Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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