I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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