I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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