the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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