stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A+ Viking dick
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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