I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize