we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Your cock deserves a montage
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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