She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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