508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize