im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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