Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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