I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
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We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
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Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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