Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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