You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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