i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize