I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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