It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize