HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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