My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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