i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize