How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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