I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize