considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize