i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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