forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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