I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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