Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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