She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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