Your tits are I can't wait for
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize